Why every Christian should be in favour of gay marriage

Yes, I’m serious.

Yes, I realise that the majority of the world’s Christians are opposed to gay marriage and I recognise that many of those who most vocally oppose gay marriage do so in the name of Christ. Even so, this misunderstanding is easily resolved.

For Christians understand that marriage is an institution with a purpose. Others may believe that it was just a good idea that our forebears came up with on a lonely night, or that it evolved mystically out of our apparent need soul-mates, but Christians believe that marriage is a God-given institution, designed to serve the good of the community, and this gives us a very straightforward way of assessing the validity of any proposed form of marriage.

Let’s be clear about this: from a Christian point of view, marriage is an institution designed to serve two social needs:

  1. Marriage contributes broadly to social stability
  2. Marriage provides a stable environment for the nurturing of children.

This may seem all very unromantic (as is the case with so much ‘Biblical’ thinking) but, in truth, I can’t see many people outside of the self-obsessed, chakra-balancing spiritualist fringe – Christian or otherwise – seriously contesting this, and a brief look at history confirms that it is the social purpose of marriage that is at the core of the institution.

The Biblical record, certainly, is unambiguous in this regard. Sometimes marriage was monogamous while at other times multiple partners were involved. Sometimes marriages were arranged and at other times people were free to choose partners for themselves. The form of the institution varied, but the God-given role that marriage plays in the community has remained constant – increasing social stability and providing a safe environment for the nurturing of children.

If this is the case then the only questions Christians need to concern themselves with when it comes to the issue of gay marriage are these two:

  1. Would gay marriage lead to greater social stability?
  2. Would a married gay partnership be likely to provide a more secure environment for the nurturing of the children of a gay couple than an unmarried one?

I think the answer to both these questions has to be ‘yes‘. If marriage entails faithfulness and long-term partnership, then allowing gay persons to marry will have to contribute something in both of these areas, even if the success rate of gay marriages turns out to be as dismal as heterosexual ones.

Now I appreciate that any number of Christian people will object at this point with words like ‘abomination‘ and ‘unnatural‘ – claiming that the Bible teaches clearly that all homosexual activity (including that between consenting adults) is an obscenity before God. My contention at this point is simply that even if this were true it wouldn’t detract from the value of gay marriage. For the issue here is not whether homosexual activity is desirable or undesirable or morally offensive or anything of the sort. The only questions that should concern Christian people are these two:

  1. Will this form of marriage serve social stability?
  2. Will it make things better or worse for the children involved?

If the answer to these two questions is positive then we Christians have no basis for objecting to gay people having access to the institution of marriage, regardless of how some of us might feel about such people and regardless of whether we judge such persons to be immoral or otherwise.

Personally I think we Christians need to get over what is going on in other people’s bedrooms, but if we are going to make pronouncements on what we deem best for the community, let’s do so on the basis of rational argument and Biblical principle.

I’m sick of being told that ‘God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve’ as if this should be taken more seriously than ‘if God had meant us to fly he would have given us wings’. There may be reasons for objecting to gay marriage, but if there are they will be focused on whether such a form of marriage serves the purposes for which the institution was established. To debate the question on any other basis is simply unchristian.

Rev. David B. Smith

Parish priest, community worker,
martial arts master, pro boxer,
author, father of four.


About Father Dave

Preacher, Pugilist, Activist, Father of four
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3 Responses to Why every Christian should be in favour of gay marriage

  1. I love this, thank you. I have heard so many horrific ideas about what homosexuality is that it sickens me. The things named are practiced by heterosexuals and porn stars. Well, nearly all. I won’t name them. But when Christian begins spouting to me about some of the more lurid ideas as a way to argue the point I counter with and how do you feel about rape, child molestation? I get no answer.

    These two questions are great. I will have to remember them if this ever comes up again.

    I think Fr Dave you should know your bible very well, I don’t need to remind you of that and let me share these 2 verses which should efficient that Marriage is only between one man and one woman.
    Matthew 19:4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’

    Matthew 5:16-18 16 In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. 17 Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them, but to fulfill them. 18 For I tell you truly, until heaven and earth pass away, not a single jot, not a stroke of a pen, will disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished.…

  3. Lisa Beasley says:

    May God in heaven forgive you for your evilness in promoting same sex unions.
    You cannot call it a marriage.
    The world is created with opposites, we have hot and cold, dry and wet, dark and light and almost every (I know, not all) plants and animals on this earth, not to mention human beings, are male and female.
    Homosexuality is abnormal, it brings about sickness and death.
    How can you possibly be so ignorant and promote something so unnatural in the name of love. It’s not about love, and you know it.

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