and why you need to avoid the latter for the sake of the former
I’m Father Dave.
I’m a tough guy.
I’ve boxed professionally.
I’ve kicked and wrestled with the best of them.
In fact I’ve been punched, kicked, choked, cut, bitten, had my joints ‘popped’ and, on one occasion, even had my bones snapped in fights and, for the most part, I’ve been able to push through the pain and laugh if all off (the bone-snapping incident being somewhat of an exception),
Even so, I’m a tough guy, and yet there’s one area of life where every blow I receive knocks me to the ground. It’s the battle for my kids.
I’ve been divorced.
The separation was not amicable.
I struggled (initially) to get access to my daughter.
And yes, I contemplated suicide … regularly.
If you’re a bloke who’s been through this sort of thing, you know exactly what I am talking about. Guys who have never been through it generally have no idea what you’re going through, and we don’t help them understand either, as we men have been genetically pre-programmed NOT to talk about stuff that doesn’t involve a football!
And I’m not going to break the mould here either and continue eulogising about the pain of it all. Instead, I’m simply offering you the three most important things I learnt through my battles:
- Don’t go to court.
- Don’t go to court.
- Find out everything you can about your situation – where you stand ethically and legally – and use this knowledge to avoid going to court.
Going to court is like turning pro as a boxer. There’s no route back.
Unfortunately, courts don’t look for mutually beneficial solutions. They look to give one party victory over the other party. It’s the nature of our legal system. It’s a conflict-based system. It’s a sort of sophisticated brawl, where one party does everything it can (within the rules) to utterly destroy the other party.
I don’t know whose idea it was to develop our legal system this way. One can imagine that there must be any number of ways to set up a system of jurisprudence, such that the goal of any family court hearing is to uncover what are the most helpful options for everybody involved. I suspect that more enlightened societies do run their legal system this way. We don’t. Our system is essentially a stoush, with two opponents entering the ring and only one emerging, and it’s a far more bloody and painful stoush. than anything you see take place in a boxing ring!
Anyway, my point is that if you know enough, you can avoid the legal battle-room.
If you can gain an understanding of your rights, your obligations, the nature of family law, and the way in which men are dealt with in the family court system, you can generally predict pretty accurately what your chances in court are, without ever having to go there. This will save you a LOT of money. And, more importantly, it will save you from ever having to get into a gloves-off, no-rules, bite-and-scratch, do-or-die, brawling bloodfest with your ex.
I don’t think I need to say any more about this. But I will recommend to you the one resource that I’ve come across that can equip you with the sort of knowledge that you need if you’re going to keep to the three golden rules as outlined above. It’s an ebook called, “Custody Secrets“.
Indeed, I’ve got more than just the book to show you today, I’ve got a video review from a girl named, Samantha, who probably sounds a lot like the ex-Mrs, and has all the charm of a used-car salesman. But if you can get over that, you may enjoy it: